Some Club Med Basics
(In random order)
Terminology
Those that work at the Club are referred to as a 'GO' - staff, gentils
organisateurs. The people that spend money to go to the Club are a 'GM'
- guests, gentils membres. The 'Chef de Village' is the head honcho.
All Club sites are referred to as a 'village'. You don't even think about the
terms after a while. Always remember that Club Med is a French outfit and
can, and will, do things just a bit different.
American zone
The definition of "American zone" is 'those villages that are directly
sold and advertised with a full air & land package from the US'. This
they do for the two Tahiti villages, but not Phuket or Lindeman or ....
The transition
GOs work a six month contract at one village, then they are sent to another
village for the next six months; so on and so on. The 'transition' takes
place around May and October. This rotation is intended to 'stir the pot'
and insure that the GO team doesn't get stale. The total change out usually
takes about a month. If you go during a transition (many of mine have been)
it can sometimes be disconcerting. That fantastic sailing instructor you were
with yesterday isn't there today and the new guy replacing him doesn't have
a clue.
Cash
I usually don't bring very much cash. Certainly anything purchased
within the village, can be signed for and settled with a credit card
at the end of the stay. If you plan on doing much shopping outside
the village, especially in small shops, then some cash would be
needed.
Bring a watch
I know this sounds like a contradiction of the Club Med theme, but I've
found it essential. I don't wear a watch at home, but I do at Club Med.
Events happen at certain times and you need to be there. Some sports like
sailing or wind-surfing don't matter; just show up and go. However the
SCUBA boat will not, by any means, wait for you. If you find you really don't
need it, take it off, but it's good to bring one with you.
The NEW Total All-inclusive (for the American Zone only)
Please skip the next three sections if you'll be doing a Total All-inclusive
village.
NOTE: Club Med has reciently decided to reduce the meaning of 'Total'. Be
aware that bottled water and bottled sports drinks now cost extra. Go figure,
you can drink as much scotch as you want, but if you want to take a bottle
of water back to the room they make you pay for it; assuming the boutique is
still open.
All-inclusive, but what costs extra?
Club Med invented the concept of 'all-inclusive', but some of the Jamaican
resorts have taken the concept to an even further level. The most notable
'extra cost' at Club Med, is the bar. Drinks (beer and wine) are included
(free) at lunch and dinner, in the restaurants ONLY; it is free flowing
there. ANYTHING at the bar costs extra. This includes alcoholic drinks,
bottled water, soda, tea; anything. Excursions and items from the boutique
cost extra; same with the Jamaican super clubs. Horseback riding, golf,
and scuba are the three sports that cost extra. Horses have always been
extra (that I can remember), but scuba was added a few years ago. The costs
for scuba equipment and boats are high, so why should it be passed on to
non-scuba GMs; maybe it's justified. Massage, though technically not an
excursion is treated like one, and so, also costs extra. Can a person do a
Club Med without incurring any 'extra costs'? I think, yes. The bar is the
danger spot. I think this is the major distinction between Club Med and the
more-all-inclusive Jamaican super clubs. If you are a power drinker, head
for Jamaica. If you want to drink sociably, then Club Med may be more for
you.
The bar tickets / bar beads
Anything at the bar you pay for with Club Med bar tickets (a small booklet
of paper coupon like things); this even includes soft drinks or bottled
water. In the past, bar beads (popit beads) were used, but are now replaced
by the paper tickets. The tickets are more compact, but don't jump in the
pool with a booklet in your pocket. Paper or beads, they come in three colors
(or denominations) that represent 1, 1/2, 1/4. Next question is: '1' what?
Sorry, can't answer that. It depends on where and when; you have to figure
it out each visit. Once you buy them they are yours, they can't be refunded.
I always like to come home with a few tickets/beads so I'll be ready for
anything when I get to the next village.
bar beads
The bar bracelet
After an experimental test at Playa Blanca and Sonora Bay villages
called 'More For Less', Club Med has rolled out the 'bar bracelet'.
For an extra cost you can buy a bracelet that allows unlimited drinks
(bar brand) at the bar; for the week. The convenience alone of not bothering
with tickets, might make it worthwhile. But there are things the bracelet
doesn't get you, like premium liquors or bottled water or a late night snack
next to the disco, you need tickets for those. There is no refund if you
decide later it isn't for you. In Club Med's own words, the reason for the
bar bracelet is "...to strengthen the 'all inclusive' concept". Personally
I find the cost of the bracelet quite pricey - it varies at each village.
You've got to be a pretty big drinker in order to make the bracelet pay for
itself.
The food
Some all-inclusive resorts have less than enticing food. I've never found
this to be a problem at Club Med. I can always find items to my liking;
usually way too many. Most people list the food at Club Med as a high point.
The meals are buffet style and each day has a different theme (Asian, French,
Tex-Mex, Fish, Etc...); though some of the annex restaurants offer 'served at
the table' service. Most villages now offer breakfast, late breakfast, lunch,
late lunch, and dinner. There are only a few hours late in the day that you
can't eat. Even at these times there is usually a small snack bar where you
can buy a burger or something (pay with beads). Some villages (like Cancun)
open breakfast much earlier than the announced 7AM; this is for the early
departing excursions. If your arrival at a village is late they will
frequently find something for you to eat.
Meal seating
The seating is random and the tables are for eight; it's a nice
way to meet lots of new people. This is my favorite aspect of the
Club Med experience. For singles traveling alone, it's
very pleasant. Many of the annex restaurants have smaller more
intimate tables for two or four. I personally prefer the main dining
room with the large tables. While being seated the hostess will ask you
'Smoking or Non'. I don't smoke (and smoke doesn't bother me), but I
always try to spend one day per week having meals in the smoking section,
just to meet some of the people I might otherwise miss. Sometimes you'll
be asked if you would prefer a table that speaks english (or not). This
might only mean that the first person that sat down at the table
responded in english, the conversation may be in german the rest of the
meal; all part of the international flavor. If the hostess doesn't ask
about your language preference, don't be bashful, there is nothing
worse than spending a meal in oblivion.
Bread
Does this really deserve its own subsection? I think so. One of the pluses
of Club Med being a French company, is their attention to bread. Sounds
silly until you see the bread table during dinner. There is always a fantastic
selection and variety of breads; with a rather pleased looking baker standing
behind the table. It's a big treat for me.
One last thought - white chocolate bread. Mmmmmm!
White Chocolate Bread Recipe (from 2004 at Turkoise)
1kg (2.2lb) flour
10gr (1 tsp) yeast
10gr (1 tsp) sugar
20gr (2 tsp) salt
600ml (2.5 cups) water
600ml (2.5 cups) white chocolate chips
Mix the flour, yeast and sugar with the water for 15 minutes.
Add the salt and mix again for 5 minutes.
Add the white chocolate chips and mix again for 5 minutes.
Bake at 160c (320f) degrees for 20 minutes
(baking time should not exceed 25 minutes).
Queuing
Americans have this TERRIBLE habit of lining up (queuing). It's inbred
in us. So when you are at Club Med and getting dinner, remember the French
saying "There are no lines at Club Med". Americans have this notion that you
work your way down a buffet table, one item at a time. This just slows
everything down. The French would just cut right in, get what they want,
and get out. Way faster for everyone. Watch for it, you'll see what I mean.
The rooms
Spartan. Think back to your dorm room in college and you'll be very close
to the rooms at most Club Meds. They are intended for one purpose only
(well maybe two). There is a room safe to stash your valuables; two safes
actually, in case there is a roommate. Most rooms have two beds, that
might be twin size or double, depending on the village. Most villages have
a few rooms that have a single large bed, you'll need to ask for these.
You might want to bring a couple of clothes hangers, as they never have
enough. The maids keep them nice and clean. Of course, most of the rooms
could be cleaned with a fire hose.
Dress code
Comfortable casual. You go to Club Med to relax and enjoy, none of this
crap about a jacket and tie for dinner. They try to position the 'Club
Med Finest' (like Columbus Isle) as a little fancy. I think that's bunk.
During my visits everyone seemed to be dressed the same as any other Club Med.
For myself, it's usually something like a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of
shorts. My old girlfriend would dress pretty similar. Some ladies wear
skirts, some shorts, and some pants. I'd say, dress whatever is comfortable
for you and it'll be just fine.
Tipping
Tipping is not allowed. Not now, never has been, and there never will
be tipping at Club Med.
Traveling alone
Club Med makes it easy. Assuming you are doing the full air/land package,
there will be a Club Med person (GO) at the airport when you land, they'll
get you to the village, and take care of any problems. They will match you
up with a roommate, which is nice, because you have someone you can relate
to right from the start. The tables in the dining room are for eight and
this makes it VERY easy to meet new people. Warning for nonsmokers: with
the usual European attitude toward smoking, they will NOT ask if sharing
a room with a smoker is OK.
Membership fee
This should have gone away a loooong time ago. I look at it as a 'tax'.
For a person going to Club Med for the first time, they say "What, on
top of what you've already quoted me I have to pay an extra $55US
just to go! For what?". I find it ridiculous. The European catalog states
the same fees for the English as 14 pounds (8 initiation + 6 annual
membership); or about $21US. Germans pay nothing. The catalog states that
"As a member of Club Med, you'll receive travel insurance coverage". That
is NOT correct! You only receive the insurance if you buy the full land/air
package, not for land only. So in reality, the insurance has nothing to do
with the membership fee. It's just a tax that offers no benefits.
Full land/air package vs land only
Club Med focuses it's sales (and advertisement) on the full land/air
package. This includes air fare from a gateway city, all transfers
to and from the village, and any departure taxes; in addition to the
land package. There will be a Club Med person at the airport when you're
departing (most of the time) and another (GO) at the destination
airport. This person will make sure that your luggage is transferred and
guide you to the waiting transportation. Near the end of your stay, they
will post notices (usually near the travel office) about the departure
times from the village. The full land/air package makes for a hassle-free
(no brain'er) vacation. There are some villages that I would not recommend
traveling to, any other way; Playa Blanca being one example. The down side
is that you are forced to make the vacation in blocks of 7 days (1 week,
2 weeks, etc..). Also the flight will leave sometime Friday through Monday,
and you have no choice in the matter. If you want to spend 10 days at a
village, then you are forced to be an 'Independent Arrival' and take the
land only package. Some villages (like Cancun) are a breeze to arrive
independently. Just remember that you'll be arranging you own flight(s),
finding your own taxi to get you to and from the village, and remembering
to keep enough cash for the departure tax (if any); possibly in a country
that doesn't speak English. Do I, personally, do the full land/air package,
or travel independent? It depends. Some villages (like Playa Blanca or
Moorea), I've always done the full package. I look at the length of stay,
the day of the week that I'll be departing/arriving, the cost of purchasing
my own air fare vs the charter, and the hassle factor involved.
Booking directly through Club Med vs a travel agent
If you currently have a good travel agent that is knowledgeable about Club Med
(hopefully has visited one), then there's no decision; the agent rightfully
deserves every penny of his/her commission. But, I don't believe there are
very many that fit the rule of 'knowledgeable'. If you call Club Med directly,
you will be talking to a sales person that has been to one or more villages,
has been trained on the others, and understands the Club Med experience; you
can't say that about the average travel agent. The problem with finding a
travel agent, is that you may not know that you've got a bad one until it's too
late. The main detraction with going direct, is simply money. You will always
be paying the 'rack' rate. These days, the prices in the catalog are more
like 'ballpark', rather than a fixed price. I've seen some travel agents
offering $100 off, or they may pick up the membership fee, or pick up the
price of a scuba package. Another important aspect is flexibility. Most Club
Med full land/air bookings revolve around charter flights from gateway cities;
if you don't fit their schedule - tough. A good (knowledgeable) travel agent
can sometimes bend things in your favor. Let me give you an example. On a
recent CM trip I wanted to do the full land/air package, mainly because of
the travel insurance. But, I didn't like the flight arrangements at all.
I discussed some alternative flights with my travel agent that I much
preferred, and said see what you can do. A while later I got a call and my
agent said that he had saved me $400, and gotten the flights that I wanted,
and he had gotten Club Med to approve the flights as part of the full
land/air package; there by getting me the insurance and the ground
transportation. Perfect. You would not get that from Club Med directly,
nor from a agent that didn't understand Club Med.
Sports
Club Med touts itself as one of the largest sports organizations in the
world. They have sports instruction for all levels. If you've always thought
about learning how to [fill in sport here], Club Med can teach you.
Circus: Many people return again and again to Club Med just because of their circus program. How many other vacation resorts (non-ClubMed) can say that they have flying trapeze with full instruction. Even if you're not interested in participating (or scared), it's fun to watch. The villages that have circus usually focus one (or two) of the evening shows on the program.
Snorkeling: It's a rare village that doesn't have snorkeling. Most villages have a boat trip to snorkeling sites once or twice a day. Nowadays they make you wear a life vest for safety.
Tennis: Good players should bring some balls (I don't mean that weird). The tropical heat takes a toll and the tennis balls that the village has, quickly go flat. Virtually all (3 don't) of the Club Med's world wide offer tennis.
Beach Towels
Beach towels are available (against deposit). They will charge you $20US
if you lose your towel; this could be a problem with kids. You can exchange
the towel for a clean one, anytime through out the day.
The evening show
Every night after dinner there's a show. Go to them. They're not Broadway
by any stretch, but they're fun. OK, some are stupid and some are downright
bad, but I do go to them anyway and I do enjoy them (except for Grease).
I've seen every skit they've ever done, many times; I still laugh - maybe
the wine helps. If you can, be part of the GM Show (we're GMs, those that
work there are GOs; remember); it's silly, but what the hell. Have I ever
done the GM show? No. Should you? Yes (I'll be in the audience watching).
Crazy Signs
At the end of every evenings show, they do 'Crazy Signs'. Sort of a ritual
hand signing put to the sound of 'Hands Up'. I can't even write these words
without the song going through my head. This is a Club Med tradition. Some
people love it and really get into it, others bolt for the nearest exit.
I bolt.
The picnic
The weekly picnic has been an infamous tradition at Club Med; talk
to anyone that went on one 15 years ago. It is NOT the same
today. You will NOT be swapping your bathing suit with the girl
next to you. The purpose of the picnic is NOT to get you face down
in the sand drunk. The picnics are much tamer nowadays. These are
the more sensible 90's/00's.
| Using a Computer | Using a Watch (tables) | |
|---|---|---|
| 1st dive | 130 foot max / 45 minutes max | 100 foot max / 45 minutes max |
| 2nd dive | 70 foot max / 40 minutes max | 50 foot max / 40 minutes max |
SCUBA doctor
This is one of those little known facts. Club Med likes to have a doctor
on-board the SCUBA boat for safety reasons, but they don't want to pay for
a full time position. If you are a doctor and you dive, Club Med will give
you free room and board just for going on the boat. You can dive if you want,
or not. What a deal. Stay for a month or two for free. Note: this is not
a 'free week at Club Med' kind of thing, they do want a longer commitment
than that.
Top 10 (stupid) questions GMs ask the GOs every single week
Top 5 (stupid) questions new GMs ask other GMs (hopefully only the first day)